Changing Course at Midlife

Aha! 

 “You should be a yoga teacher. You should get into wellness. You should run retreats... you should, you could... blah blah blah...” I’m convinced that’s what my 17-year-old daughter should do so I keep pushing the point ... until one day she looks straight at me and says sternly: “Mum, stop it. That’s not my dream. It’s yours!” I stand there slack-jawed (not attractive by the way). 

That, my friends, was my ‘aha moment’. It hit me that the kids are young adults now and are (almost) out of the nest. My active duty as mum is pretty much done. With a laptop, phone and internet connection I can do my day job as a translator anywhere. AND, I’m hurtling towards the big SIX-OH! Perhaps I should become a yoga teacher?

What’s holding me back? 

Giving myself permission

Most of us middle-aged women have spent much of our adult lives building careers and caring for others. I was conflicted. To do something so deliciously self-nurturing felt so indulgent! Then again, we’re given this one messy, beautiful life. Surely as we approach these ‘golden years’ we should open doors to the left and right and explore what’s behind them rather than wait until we’re struck down by one of the BIG ‘Ds’: disease, divorce, destitution or death. 

But I had to give myself permission and this took a while.

Gasping for breath

Over the course of my life, I developed a habit of diving into spontaneous adventures that literally took my breath away: Doors would open and I’d charge through them, filled to the brim with excitement and adrenaline. My motto: sink or swim.  

In 1991, a gorgeous German guy walked into the Perth restaurant where I was waitressing. I tried out my one German sentence on him: You drink like a fish! Sparks flew. Long story short: After just four months together, I moved to Germany and we married. I spent 13 years in Germany, learning the language (hard), building my translation business (hard) and raising our two wonderful Germo-Kiwi kids (harder), before uprooting the family and moving back home to New Zealand (hardest). Against the odds, Wilfried and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage this year.

Why am I telling y’all this? It’s because, during that wild ride, I forgot how to breathe. It felt as if I hadn’t taken a good, deep, calming breath in decades. 

Breathwork

So, back in March 2019, I signed up for a four-day breathing workshop in Glenorchy run by breathing coach and physiotherapist Emma Ferris and yoga teacher Sarsha Hope. I discovered I was rubbish at breathing but loved the body/breath flow of Vinyasa yoga.

Four-day women’s wellness retreat at Camp Glenorchy with Emma Ferris and Sarsha Hope

Another door opens: Yoga Teacher Training 

Fast forward 11 months: This Sunday, February 23rd, 2020, I fly to Queenstown to start my 200-hour vinyasa flow yoga teacher training at the Nadi Wellness Centre. I’m super excited ... and more than a little nervous. 

The 200-hour Vinyasa Flow Nadi Yoga Teacher Training in Queenstown

This is the first time in a quarter-century that I’ve been away from the family and on my own for such a long time. The yoga training runs weekdays from 9 am to 6 pm. Can I cope mentally and physically? Can I even concentrate for that long? Do I still remember how to study? What will others think? Am I just a cliché? There’s no way I’ll be able to stand on my head or touch the back of my head with my foot! What if I hurt myself? Yikes, I can’t even breathe properly.  

WHO DO I THINK I AM?

Well, that’s what I’m about to find out. 

If you want to see if I sink or swim, follow my journey on social media.